— Aditi (esn13)
Anorexia will ruin your Christmas. It will ruin your birthday. Friend’s birthdays. Your weekly social outings. Cake day in your literature class at college. The pudding you always enjoyed after dinner in an evening.
Anorexia will ruin your wedding day. The upbringing of your children. Your relationship with your partner.
Anorexia will ruin your friends. Your family. Your lovers. Your children. Everyone you see.
Anorexia will ruin your hair. Your nails. Your circulation. Your body. Your bones. Your love. Your trust. Your self esteem. Your happiness.
But one day
You have the power
You will win.
You’ll get your friends back. Your family will smile when you accept a cookie. Your teachers will laugh when you light up the room with your healthy smile. Your children will love it when Mum bakes and shares it with them. Your partner will hug you and not feel bones but curves and still think you’re just as god damned beautiful as the first day he met you.
You’ll get your healthy hair back. You’ll get strong nails. You’ll be able to wear nice clothes in whatever god damned size your body wants to be. You’ll look in the mirror and fucking smile.
And it might take time. And you might relapse.
And that’s okay.
We all need time. We don’t always succeed straight away.
But trust me darling.
You’ll get your life back.
And it’ll be fucking worth it.
you will beat this -
This made my day :3
This is something I’m sure many of us experience. It’s awful. Remember that you do not actually miss that body, what you miss is the numbness and the security in knowing that no matter what else was falling apart in your life (which was likely everything because of your disorder) —- at least you were thin and getting thinner.
this is bullshit
you eating disorder is lying to you
do not look back, there is nothing for you there
You are not alone in your feelings but my dear, please do not allow them to take over. You are so strong and full of life and you deserve to truly live. When you were smaller you were also miserable and you know it. Don’t turn back baby. Constant forward motion, always.